The Procrastinator

the kitchen sink

Wed, 08 Jun 2011 15:25:40 GMT

Oh, my poor, neglected blog. What's to become of you? Unwritten, unread, abandoned and alone -- I hear you crying in the closet when you think no one is home; I found that secret journal where you write emo poetry and complain that no one loves you anymore.

And what can I say? Mea culpa. But can you blame me? It's like you're a pet rock and twitter is an adorable, fluffy, much more beloved new puppy. You're talking to the girl who once traded a gerbil for a guinea pig (which, trust me, is an act of fickleness I was severely punished for, not least by the fact that an incontinent guinea pig turns out to be no better a pet than a neurasthenic gerbil, especially when all you really want is a puppy).

But lucky for you, all is not lost. I have a million things I should be doing today, and we all know that when the to-do list gets that overwhelming, there's only one answer: Blogging.

And, figuring that despite my best intentions, I probably won't be back around these parts for a while, it's going to be a long one...

Despite the fact that there are a million available and fascinating topics one could discuss, I'm not going to. Instead, this seems like as good a time and place as any to update the world on all things me. (She says without shame.) (Okay, with a little shame.)

NEW APPEARANCES!
(No, I'm not talking about my new haircut, although it is admittedly awesome.)

On July 13, I'll be in Orlando at the annual Harry Potter conference, Leaky Con, talking about YA lit and counting the minutes until I get to go see fake Hogwarts for myself.

On November 4, if you live around Michigan, you can come see me and the much more brilliant Holly Black here.

NEW ANTHOLOGIES!

If you've ever read this blog, or spoken to me, or know basically anything about me, you know how much I love television. And you may even know that it's long been my not-so-secret dream to be a television critic. (I was a Television Without Pity fan before it was TWoP, and I've long thought that if I'd had more moxie as a college student, I would have gotten myself a job there and the rest would be TV snark history.) Anyway, that's why I am so ridiculously, psychotically pleased to be part of the new Smart Pop Friday Night Lights anthology:

It comes out in August, and by the way, if you're not watching Friday Night Lights, you really, really should be.

I'm also pretty excited, because I love old-school sci-fi, I love the story I wrote, and I love Taylor Kitsch (relevant and also, as it happens, an excellent reason for watching Friday Night Lights), to be in the newly announced anthology based on JOHN CARTER OF MARS.

(There's no cover yet, but when there is, I suspect it will look something like this. And yes, that is a naked lady battling a four-armed ape. What's not to love?!)

Edited by anthology-editor-extraordinaire John Joseph Adams, it's going to contain new Barsoom stories by the very fancy likes of Garth Nix, Chris Claremont, and Catherynne Valente. (I don't know how I snuck in there, but I'm keeping very quite about it in hopes no one notices and tosses me out...)

NEW COVERS!

If you haven't already heard about this, or have heard, and are utterly confused, the SKINNED books are getting NEW COVERS and also (this is the confusing part) NEW TITLES.

As of October, they're going to look like this:

This is now going to be called the COLD AWAKENING TRILOGY (#1 - Frozen, #2 - Shattered, #3 - Torn). This is NOT a continuation of the series. These are the EXACT SAME BOOKS you've already read (#1 - Skinned, #2 - Crashed, #3 - Wired). (Well, hopefully you've already read them, but perhaps you haven't, in which case...welcome to my thrilling new paperback dystopian trilogy, COLD AWAKENING.)

Yes, I know it's confusing and kind of weird, but...look at the PRETTY. I am mesmerized by the pretty.

NEW PUB DATE FOR NEW BOOK!

Okay, I don't have a cover yet for THE BOOK OF BLOOD AND SHADOW (but it's coming very, very soon, and it's going to be amazing). But I do finally have an official pub date!

It's looking like this book is due to hit shelves near you on January 10 -- which, gulp, seems extremely soon to me. You'll be hearing a lot (a LOT) more about this one soon, and hopefully there will be a shiny new website and some other fun stuff to go with it, but in the meantime, I will just taunt you with this:

One night.

One body, broken in a pool of blood.

One killer, lost in the shadows.

One girl, left behind--left alone, to face the consequences, to find the truth.

To avenge the dead.

THE BOOK OF BLOOD AND SHADOW - A labyrinthine tale of ancient puzzles, cryptic signs, murderous zealots, and the quest for ultimate knowledge--and ultimate power.

NEW RECOMMENDATIONS!
(Since you'll need something to do to kill time before my book comes out, right?)

Best grown-up dystopias: SUPER SAD TRUE LOVE STORY, by Gary Shteyngart, which is everything its title claims it is, and also hilarious. Also James Boice's THE GOOD AND THE GHASTLY, which is dark and terrifying and realistic and also a little hilarious. You might not have heard of James Boice, but you will soon, because he writes the kind of books that grab you, punch you in the face, make out with you, bake you a plate of cookies, then for good measure, kick you in the gut. But in a good way.

Speaking of books you should be afraid to be alone with: The Passage. Vampires. Incredibly scary, don't-turn-out-the-lights, kind of like the ones in PRIEST only less ridiculous vampires. Read it.

Books that will fool your friends into thinking you're smart: How the Hippies Saved Physics, by David Kaiser, who was, a long time ago, my college advisor, and who remains one of the smartest guys I know. If the title doesn't sell you, and the cover doesn't sell you -

- then perhaps you will enjoy this clip, in which the distinguished MIT professor of history and physics debates, with great eloquence and intensity, which is superior: latkes or hamentaschen.

It is physically impossible not to love this guy. (Though I'll grant you'll love him more if you happen to have a working knowledge of both the Manhattan Project and Yiddish.)

Website that will make you wise: I'll admit it, I'm addicted to an advice column. Several of them, in fact. They're on The Hairpin, they're called Ask a Dude, Ask a Lady, Ask a Clean Person, etc, etc, and they're self-explanatory. Now, in addition to fooling my friends into thinking I'm smart, I actually am.

YA Books you'd be nuts not to read: Hopefully you've already listened to me about reading Holly Black's WHITE CAT, and are now ready for the even-better sequel, RED GLOVE. And I'm pretty sure you don't need me to tell you to read Beauty Queens or the sequel to 13 Little Blue Envelopes, The Last Little Blue Envelope, but I'm going to do so anyway.

I'm also going to command you to read SHINE, by Lauren Myracle and PEARL, by Jo Knowles, because both are incredibly beautiful, touching, gut-ripping stories about the darkest and lightest parts of life, and you don't want to miss them.

TV show whose hype I ignored, to my detriment: Game of Thrones. It turns out it's as good as everyone says. I might actually have to read the books.

Non-fiction, if that's how you roll: Methland and Chasing the Sea are both exceedingly depressing and exceedingly riveting. (Although if you want something a little lighter, Tom Bissell has shifted gears from Central Asian environmental disasters to video games--less depressing, still freakishly well written.)

The elephant in the room: I don't think I have anything left to say about that Wall Street Journal article that hasn't already been said, but if you're hungry for more on this issue and haven't already read Maureen Johnson in the Guardian, Cecil Castellucci in the LA Times, or some of the 15,000 #yasaves responses on twitter, I'd start there.

If you now need something to cheer you up: I'm framing it.

Congratulations, if you've read this far. I could keep going forever, since this is of course immensely more pleasurable than actually doing work, but instead I'm going to tear myself away from the screen and commence work on TOP SECRET NEW YA PROJECT THAT YOU WILL HEAR ABOUT SOON-ISH ASSUMING IT DOESN'T KILL ME FIRST. (It's just a working title.)

#robin3000 #winners

Tue, 26 Apr 2011 18:21:30 GMT

The random number generator has spoken! (What, did you think I used a hat? This is the 21st century!) Actually, because I so enjoyed this, it spoke TWICE.

Which means two winners for the #robin3000 book giveaway (I figured since I was giving away two books, it seemed only fair):

@bookbriefs and @baileykelsey

Congratulations! Email me at robin (at) robinwasserman (dot) com and let me know which ebook you'd like,

or

And now, as promised, something for the rest of you. As I may have mentioned, about a thousand times, I have a new book coming out next year: It's called THE BOOK OF BLOOD AND SHADOW, and while there is not yet a cover, there IS a manuscript, and I'm going to pull out a few sentences at random to give you a glimpse. It's a very, very mini world debut.

I'm going through the copy-edited manuscript at the moment, adding commas and deleting m-dashes and such (and geeking out over all the delicious grammar puzzles), and so here, without further ado, are the first few sentences of the manuscript page I was on when I hit 3000 twitter followers:

-----

Some simple, logical proofs.

One. Max loved me. Max loved Chris. Max claimed to "find the overabundance of violence in modern American cinema to be bordering on grotesque" but did so only because it was easier than admitting the sight of blood, even on-screen, made him want to puke. Max was Max. Therefore, he did not do it.

Two. Max loved me. Max would never leave me alone to face Chris's body and Adriane's eyes and the cops and the cameras unless he had no other choice, and not no other choice as in he preferred to stay out of jail and feared sticking around would have the opposite effect, but no other choice as in he needed to stay away to save his own life, or mine. Therefore Max was in trouble.

Or Max was dead.

----

That's all I've got right now. BUT, turns out celebrating arbitrary big round numbers is kind of fun, so when I hit 4000, I'll do it again -- and my HOPE is that by the time this happens, I'll a) have a cover to reveal and b) have some of the newly repackaged/retitled SKINNED books to give away.

They come out in October, so I guess I've got some time. Now, off to ~~come up with more interesting things to tweet about~~ do my work.

#robin3000

Mon, 25 Apr 2011 17:35:59 GMT

Somehow, I seem to have 3000 people following me on twitter. And it's come to my attention that when one hits one of those big, fat, round numbers, twitter etiquette demands some form of thank you to the universe, or at least the twitter-ly corner of it.

And how better to say thank you than to give some stuff away?

Here's what I'm going to give away:

1 ebook of either RED GLOVE (by Holly Black) or THE LAST LITTLE BLUE ENVELOPE (by Maureen Johnson) -- winner's choice

(Why aren't I giving away one of my own books? Eh. I'm bored of doing that. And I'm a strange and capricious creature. And these are two of my favorite new releases this month and I think you all should get the joy of reading them.)

How you win:

1. Tweet something about Red Glove or The Last Little Blue Envelope.

2. Hashtag your tweet #robin3000

3. Check my twitter feed or this blog tomorrow afternoon to see if you won.

Tomorrow I'll also be posting a short, short excerpt from my Exciting New Book, THE BOOK OF BLOOD AND SHADOW. (The manuscript is on my lap as we speak, and I'm going to post some sentences from the very page I was on when I hit 3000 followers. Thrilling, I know.)

See you then!

Move along, nothing smutty to see here...

Mon, 21 Mar 2011 14:24:04 GMT

Psst...I know what you came around here for. I can tell from that shifty look on your face. I'll tell you this much: Your letter is W.

But you better keep moving. libba_bray , author of BEAUTY QUEENS, has what you need...

(If, on the other hand, you have no idea what I'm talking about, you might want to start here: cassandraclare )

resolutions

Fri, 31 Dec 2010 13:56:04 GMT

Everyone else I know seems to be posting a list of all the things they've accomplished in 2010. I find it intimidating, depressing, and terrifying just to read these (because they generally made me feel like an enormous slacker who accomplished nothing in 2010 but discovering a love for several new and newly terrible TV shows), so I certainly won't be making one of my own. This time of year, rather than musing on the past, I prefer thinking about the future.

My theory (New Year's is one of the very, very few times in a year where you'll actually find me being optimistic, if you catch me at the right moment): Whatever it is you want to do, be, or have, this could finally be the year. Especially if you insist on it, loudly enough that the universe has no choice but to go along. As in:

THIS IS THE YEAR.

Thus, I'm a big fan of resolutions. Last year, among other things, I resolved to buy a book a week. (I've always been a library girl, from a library family, so my shelves are embarrassingly empty -- and now that I buy food and pay my rent only because other people are gracious enough to buy *my* books, I decided to spend a few months returning the favor.) This may have been the best resolution I've ever made in my life, because it was certainly the only one that was massive amounts of fun to carry out. And I'll admit, I haven't read this much in years. Having more books around the house has actually managed to cut down on my television viewing.

Who knew anything could do that?

I didn't manage every single week, and I'll admit I still have a stack of books I've acquired but have yet to read, which is the kind of thing that generally stresses me out (but for 2011 I'm trying to cultivate a more zen approach to such things, so bring on the ToBeRead stacks), but here, in case you want confirmation, is the list of all the books I've bought and read this year:*

*Not including YA/Children's (because there were too many to write down and I don't remember which I bought and which I scavenged for free), presents (b/c I never bothered to write those down), or research books for Exciting New Novel Partly Set in Exotic Locale (because that would be telling....)

The Children's Book (AS Byatt), Last Night in Twisted River (John Irving), Await Your Reply (Don Chaon), Revolutionary Road (Richard Yates), The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao (Junot Diaz), Let the Great World Spin (Colum McCann), So Much For That (Lionel Shriver), The Unbearable Lightness of Being (Milan Kundera), Eat the Document (Dana Spiotta), This Side of Paradise (F. Scott Fitzgerald), Consider the Lobster (David Foster Wallace), Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoyevsky), The Alienist (Caleb Carr), Where I'm Calling From (Raymond Carver), Beach Music (Pat Conroy), Nemesis (Philip Roth), The Slap (Christos Tsiolkas), Great House (Nicole Krauss), The American Painter Emma Dial (Samantha Peale), The Ask (Sam Lipsyte), Super Sad True Love Story (Gary Shteyngart), Bound (Antonya Nelson), The History of Love (Nicole Krauss), The Yiddish Policeman's Union (Michael Chabon), A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again (David Foster Wallace), Man Walks Into a Room (Nicole Krauss), Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant (Anne Tyler), The Shining (Stephen King), The Passage (Justin Cronin), The Dome (Stephen King), Heart Shaped Box (Joe Hill), A Gate at the Stairs (Lorrie Moore), Sunset Park (Paul Auster), The Magicians (Lev Grossman), Room (Emma Donoghue), The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie (Muriel Spark), Changing My Mind (Zadie Smith)

(Seems like a good omen to end my year on a book with that title, no?)

(See my last post, if you're interested in my Best Of picks.)

Barry Lyga had a great post this week about how reading more widely -- and specifically, in his case, more adult books -- has shaped his writing, and I couldn't agree more. I've read more books, and, more importantly, more amazing, awe-inspiringly well written books this year than I have in a really long time (and this includes some of those YA and middle grade books that aren't on this list, but are in that Best Of post).

I read books that reminded me of why I wanted to be a writer -- and books that showed me how to be a better one.

I've spent most of this year writing a book that terrified me to write, and -- not to jinx things -- I think it's turning out better than anything I've written before. If that proves to be the case, it will be 90% thanks to all these books I was reading on the side. So, thank you, amazing authors, and thank you 2010 resolution.

Which brings me to 2011.

I like to make three resolutions: One which will make me a better person, one which will make me a better writer, and one which I can actually, concretely do something to accomplish. Still working on them, though -- I figure I have until tomorrow to set them in stone.

What about you? Anyone got any exciting resolutions for 2011, or ambitions that you'd like the universe to accommodate? How about we all agree right now:

THIS IS THE YEAR.

So you tell me: The year for what?

Bandwagon, Here I Come!

Mon, 20 Dec 2010 23:11:32 GMT

Since everyone is making best-of-the-year lists, since I am generally of the opinion that my taste is awesome and also love a good competition even if I'm the one handing out the awards and thus ineligible to win any, since many people who know me well labor under the delusion that I don't like anything (you know who you are), and since my apartment is SO FREAKING COLD that I can't concentrate enough to be productive but can't stop shivering long enough to nap, I figured I would join the party. And thus, here, the moment that you never realized you were waiting for but surely somewhere, deep down, have been...

ROBIN'S BEST OF 2010
(Also known as BOOKS AND OTHER STUFF THAT YOU SHOULD MAKE SURE YOU GET/SEE/READ BECAUSE I SAID SO AND BECAUSE IT'S TRUE I HATE ALMOST EVERYTHING SO IF I LIKED IT YOU KNOW IT'S GOOD)

YA Books
The Boneshaker - Kate Milford (sort of middle-grade, but I'm counting it)
The Magicians - Lev Grossman (okay, so this is not a YA book, but the best parts of it are the YA parts, so I'm counting it)
White Cat - Holly Black

Adult Books
Great House - Nicole Krauss
Super Sad True Love Story - Gary Shteyngart
The Passage - Justin Cronin

Books Published Before 2010 That I Foolishly Failed to Read Until This Year
The Brief, Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao - Junot Diaz
Consider the Lobster - David Foster Wallace
History of Love - Nicole Krauss

Books I Know I Should Read Because Everyone Keeps Telling Me To But I Haven't Managed to Yet
Anything - Megan Whalen Turner (yes, yes, I know, stop yelling at me, people, I'm on it)
Freedom - Jonathan Franzen

Book That Was So Dark and Depressing I Wish I Could Erase It From My Memory Which Has Never Happened Before
So Much For That - Lionel Shriver

Movies
Okay, honestly, I never go to the movies and when I do I tend to forget them about five minutes after I walk out of the theater, so the only thing I can remember loving this year was INCEPTION, which I loved A LOT.

Oh, also the SOCIAL NETWORK. So that's two. (And for what it's worth, I disagree strongly with this article and think this was the most accurate version of Harvard I've ever seen on screen. Sorry, Good Will Hunting/With Honors/Love Story. No contest.)

TV
Can we discuss the fact that almost all the good TV shows have either ended or been canceled? (And while any other year I would have included Lost on this list, I refuse to reward it for its CRAPPIER THAN CRAP ending.) Alas. There's still...uh...hmm...okay:

Breaking Bad (I've only seen the first two episodes of this but am willing to go out on a limb b/c they were amazing)
Caprica (canceled)
Friday Night Lights
the Twin Peaks tribute episode of Psych
Weeds (in the midst of a creative resurgence, and also: Justin Kirk)
Mad Men (although that feels like forever ago and, seriously, Don, WTF?)

And maybe we'll give Grey's Anatomy the Show That Sucks Less Than It Sucked Last Year award.

ALSO: Any TV show when watched alongside Television Without Pity recaps written by Jacob - specifically Gossip Girl, Caprica, and Weeds, but also, in memorium, Battlestar Galactica, on which he truly outdid himself and anyone else who's ever written about television.

Guilty Pleasures
Degrassi: The Next Generation
Millionaire Matchmaker (I have no defense for this, please stop laughing)

Online Crap to Watch
Coming in just under the wire:
So You Want to Write a Novel - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9fc-crEFDw

(Runner up: Josh Malina and Michael Ian Black's Backwash)

This was more enjoyable than either doing my work or shiver, so perhaps I'll add to it as I think of more stuff I liked this year (although like I say, it's a very small list) - let me know if there are any categories you think I missed. Better yet, let me know your favorites, so I'll have something to do in 2011.

Fight the Crazy

Tue, 07 Dec 2010 22:17:49 GMT

A couple weeks ago someone (you know who you are) got me up against the wall, shoved a camera in my face, and demanded advice about writing a first draft. I would call this an advice mugging, except for the fact that anyone who's ever met me knows that I will seize on any possible opportunity to offer advice, as it's just about my favorite thing to do. And also for the fact that "someone" is a very lovely person who was soliciting advice for excellent purposes. Fortunately for those purposes, I'm not the only person she asked, because my advice was only half-good. Which means it was also half crappy.

Now, as anyone who's ever met me also knows, I pride myself on giving VERY GOOD advice. So you can imagine that this greatly distressed me. Or would have, if I had realized it at the time.

My advice, in a nutshell: Shitty Rough Draft. (In slightly less of a nutshell: Don't worry if what you're writing is terrible, don't worry if it doesn't make sense, don't worry if it's perfect, just write one page after another after another after another until you can write "The End." Then have a milkshake.)

It doesn't work for everyone, but I still believe this is generally pretty excellent advice...once you've reached the second half of your book. Writing the second half can seem like a horrific slog through an infinite number of illogical events, confusing plot twists, and uncooperative characters with no end in sight. While I'm sure there are those who find this an enchanting phase of the process, I call it the death march.

And a couple weeks ago, when that camera appeared in my face, I had just reached the end of it, having finished a first draft of a(n exciting, new, hopefully out-of-this-world brilliant) novel. So the one-miserable-day-at-a-time strategy was right at the forefront of my mind.

But here's the thing. I had forgotten that the death march is just one phase -- and, if you ask me, not nearly the trickiest one.

This month, I'm starting something new, and I'm now reminded of what I forget each and every time I get to the second half of the book, which is that writing the first half -- or at least the first few chapters -- sucks. And it sucks in a very specific way that requires some very specific advice. Since I so love offering advice, I've decided to do just that.

(I should note here that, yes, I'm aware this blog post would have been much more appropriate and helpful had I written it, say, LAST MONTH, when what seems like the entire world but me retreated into writing caves in order to work on their NaNoWriMo manuscripts at lightning speed. But surely I can't be the only one out there a little slow on the uptake. Someone else out there must be starting a book in December...right? This post is dedicated to you. Or, if you don't exist, to me. Because no one needs to hear this advice more than I do.)

The thing about starting a new book is that when you first start writing, it's like floating on a sea of chocolate mikshake, sweet and unexpected and full of wonderful possibility--a honeymoon period that for some people, I'm told, can last months. For me it lasts about five minutes. And then the Crazy starts. This is when I start feeling completely ridiculous and possibly even clinically insane for imagining that I could actually write a book. Especially a book that doesn't suck. The nasty little voice in my head points out that it's very likely this book is going to be terrible, that every page I write makes it more nonsensical, that even if it's a brilliant idea I'll probably screw it up, and that, let's be honest, it's probably in fact the most terrible and useless idea to be introduced into the world since Hammer Pants.

Actually, that requires more than just a link (especially for those of you who didn't have the privilege of experiencing them firsthand):

HAMMER TIME!

Now, I'll admit, there are also moments when any new book seems destined to be the greatest book I've ever written and possibly that anyone has ever written and instead of working on it I'd be perfectly justified lying on the couch fantasizing about massive advances and international tours.

There are even moments, many of them, when I just sit in front of the computer, typing away, thinking about nothing but what comes next.

But eventually, inevitably, the CRAZY returns. And I can't help feeling like it would be smarter to devote my energies toward an activity with a higher possibility of yielding success.

Like tetris.

I often tell people that when I was a teenager, I wanted to be a writer but could never come up with ideas. This is a lie. The truth--though I rarely remember it--is that I came up with lots of ideas, and I wrote the first couple pages of many a story (even a couple novels) before giving up in disgust, certain that the only thing dumber than the idea for the story was me, for thinking I could, or should, write it.

I've now finished and published more than ten novels. But every time I start a new one, I still hear that little voice in my head saying: You're nuts.

(I'll admit the existence of a little voice in my head makes that a strong possibility.)

The conversation basically goes like this:

ME: Woohoo! Three more pages. This is totally (someday, eventually) going to be a book!

CRAZY VOICE: Yeah. A CRAPTASTIC book. And not even a book, so much as a big pile of paper covered with ink. Don't forget to recycle. You know, when you come to your senses and throw it in the trash.

ME: I always think that, and it's never actually true.

CRAZY VOICE: Which statistically means there's a high likelihood that this time it is.

ME: You have a point.

CRAZY VOICE: I know.

ME: *weeps*

I firmly believe that finishing a novel is an act of brute force. But starting a novel is a leap of faith, and it's a leap you have to take every day, blindfolded, with your hands tied behind your back -- until you hit the point where the prospect of giving up is at least as unappealing as the thought of going forward and just getting the damn thing done. Which is what makes the whole thing so terrifying, exhilarating, and utterly annoying.

I also believe (or at least, dear lord, I hope) that I'm not the only one who has this problem. It's clear to me that I'm never going to be able to make the little voice shut up, nor am I going to be able to convince it that I'm neither a moron nor a lunatic. Which leaves me with only one option, and it's an option I highly recommend (hear comes the advice): IGNORE THE CRAZY VOICE.

Leap.

And while you're doing so, it doesn't hurt to blast this at full volume at least once a day:

mea culpa

Fri, 15 Oct 2010 12:40:23 GMT

Yes, I have been incredibly derelict about updating my blog and I'm here today only for the ignoble purpose of trying to get you to come see me in person so I don't show up to my fancy shmancy talk and signing this weekend to face every author's nightmare, a big empty room (well, okay, every author's real nightmare is a blank page, but empty rooms at book signings are definitely the kind of thing we have short, hazy nightmares about while couch napping).

But in my defense, I've been very busy all month finishing a draft of my Brand New Book. (The only reason I've poked my head up for air this week is that I've forced some very gracious and easily suckered friends into reading it for me, and am now waiting for their thoughts on it. Which, by the way, is the current subject of my nightmares. And my couch-nap nightmares, which there have been a lot of opportunity for this week. I love my couch.)

Curious about the new book? Perhaps you would like to ask me about it in person THIS WEEKEND:

Saturday, October 16, 2 pm
Upper Dublin Public Library
805 Loch Alsh Ave
Fort Washington, PA
More info here

I'll be talking about the Skinned trilogy and what comes next and -- since I grew up only a few miles away -- probably spilling some embarrassing stories of my awkward youth. So you won't want to miss that part.

There's nothing I love more than doing events in the Philadelphia area. When I was a kid, 99% of my time was spent either reading other people's books or fantasizing about the day when I would write my own. (0% of my time was spent actually writing said books, which is perhaps why it took me so long, but that's another story, and by story, I mean cautionary tale.) So it's a bit surreal to go back there as an actual real, live published author. I wish I could travel back in time, drop by the high school, take teenage me for a ride, and tell her that, despite how it may seem, everything will work out in the end.

(There are plenty of other things I'd tell her, but most are truly not fit for public consumption.)

As may be apparent, for someone who was so miserable growing up, I am ridiculously, unnaturally, inexplicably nostalgic for the trappings of my youth. Even the ones (cough, junior high) that could only be described using words like "prison" and "fiery pit of hell." (And let's not forget "stink bomb." Ah, junior high.) It's probably a good thing that all my teachers have retired by now, or I'd likely spend every visit to the area parading through my former schools, mooning over my old lockers and classrooms and shoving copies of my books at all my favorite teachers.

Actually, I'd probably shove copies at all my least favorite teachers, too, or at least the ones who tried esp to ruin my life, too, because what better way to demonstrate how they failed? Um, not that I hold petty grudges like that or imagine running into certain people who will remain nameless and watching them weep as they behold my glory. Because that would be totally nuts.

Wait, what was my point here?

Oh, right, doing writerly stuff within a certain radius of my hometown tends to bring out my crazy, mostly in a good way, and you can generally be guaranteed that I'll start babbling madly or reminiscing or complaining about some eighth grade bully or having a heart attack because someone I haven't seen in ten years is sitting in the back row...point being, I can't promise you excitement if you show up, but you've at least got a good shot.

(Especially if you're the one I haven't seen in ten years. Then you can probably ensure there will be screaming of some sort.)

(Unless you're my eighth grade bully, in which case there will be screaming of another sort, so you might want to stay away.)

(Not that I'm holding another petty grudge from -- wait, ALMOST TWENTY YEARS AGO? -- okay, I really am nuts.)

(And old.)

today's the day!

Tue, 14 Sep 2010 20:03:51 GMT

Those of you who have been counting the days (and maybe that's a party of one, namely me) will be aware that
TODAY IS THE DAY WIRED HITS STORES!
(You can read an excerpt here, if you're curious.)

I've made my requisite tour of area bookstores to admire the pretty, I've bought myself a cookie, and I've miserably failed at getting any amount of work done.

I did, however, create this nifty little arts and crafts project:

Though I think it looks better full-sized, here.

(Incidentally, not to sound like a commercial, but I highly recommend this glogster thing - whatever it is, it's highly addictive, and I'm speaking as someone with no artistic skills or aesthetic taste whatsoever. So just imagine what the hypothetical YOU could do with it. As soon as you're done reading WIRED, of course.)

And now, I must leave you to go get some actual work done...or maybe a celebratory viewing of the Gossip Girl season premiere.

It could go either way.

a tantalizing glimpse of the future

Mon, 06 Sep 2010 14:21:54 GMT

It being labor day and me being a contrarian, I have decided to spend this final day of summer vacation doing the obvious: WORK.

Before you get too impressed, I guess I should admit it's the fun kind of work, inspired by the arrival at my doorstep of this very valuable treasure:

(Bonus, if you look closely you can see in the background a) my very ugly but very comfortable couch, b) my mostly ugly rug, c) the green notebook which I'm using to brainstorm my next SEKRIT project, and d) the stack of laundry I'm avoiding by doing more entertaining work like this.)

WIRED, the final book in the SKINNED trilogy, comes out September 14. For those of you disinclined to do math while still officially on summer vacation, that is EIGHT DAYS FROM TODAY.

I know, you're tortured by anticipation. (Okay, I'm tortured by anticipation. I've been waiting four years for this moment.)

Here's a little excerpt to help you survive the wait. (And I believe this is the first piece of this book to see the light of day, so we'll call it a WORLD DEBUT.) Enjoy!

****

Mechs don't get tired. We don't, technically, need to sleep. And obviously there's no need to eat or drink or rest our legs from hour after hour of whirling beneath spinning neon lights, arms twirling, head thrown back, bass-pumping music shaking the walls, floor undulating beneath our feet, bodies on bodies pressed together, sticky, sweaty, salty flesh grinding against flesh, and in the center, me. Seventy-two hours at the Wilding, watching dancers flow in and out, like jellyfish washing up on the beach, then dragged out again by the rising tide, ragged and desiccated by their hours in the sun. Except here in the Wilding there was no sun, no hint of anything that might mark the time passing, or the daylight world beyond its midnight walls.

"You need a guy," Felicity shouted in my ear, with a giggle that sounded almost sincere. Everything she said sounded almost sincere--the same went for Pria and Cally, the other two vidlife regulars who'd swept me into their circle as soon as I stepped into the club. The fly cams buzzing over our heads glowed as they came within range of one another, and on cue the lifers laughed and shrieked, stroked my hair, whipped me in wild loops across the packed dance floor, and didn't seem to care that I was a mech--which of course only meant that their characters didn't care, and they were playing their parts.

Cally grabbed my shoudlers and kneaded her thumbs into the synflesh. "Definitely need a guy," she agreed. "You're way too tense."

"Come on, pick someone." Pria twisted me in a slow circle, her pointed finger hopping from a weeper with huge biceps and teary hangdog eyes to an albino blond to an artfully scruffed guy, bare from the waist up and dosed out on Xers, who happened to be a ringer for Walker, my org ex. Not going to happen.

Him, the voice in my head decided for me, as my eyes settled on a punkish banger a few years older than me, his spiked hair tipped with metal studs, silver bangles ringing both arms from wrist to elbow. The silver decals striping his neck marked him as a skinnerhead, one of those fetishists who claimed to crave eternal life as a mech--but didn't crave it enough to actually cut open their brains and download them into a computer. Covering yourself in mech-tech was the newest trend, at least among those who weren't trolling the streets looking for a mech to bash, and sometimes--fine line between love and hate and all that--among those who were. This loser clearly considered himself on the cutting edge. Someone out there on the network apparently thought that made him my perfect match. Go for it.

It didn't take much. My come-hither glance was rusty, but it got the job done. Or maybe it was the pinpricks of golden light at the center of my pupils, the dead mech eyes flashing under the neon strobes, the taunting glimpses of synflesh beneath the on-and-off transparent material of the flash shirt.

What skinnerhead could resist a skinner?

Giving stuff away!

Wed, 28 Jul 2010 20:07:38 GMT

So it's come to my attention that the paperback of CRASHED will be out next week (in anticipation for next month's release of WIRED, the final book in the trilogy!) and it seemed like I should do something to celebrate.

(If you're impatient, scroll down for the CONTEST INFORMATION.)

In other related - in a way which will soon become evident - news, I finally got my first smartphone. And let me tell you, the view from the 21st century is pretty damn good. This phone may never leave my hand again.

The thing is, despite the fact that I have been desperately craving an iPhone since they were first released, this bright and shiny new phone is, in fact, an Android.

(So: Awesome. Just not quite as Apple-y awesome as my inner Apple fangirl tells me the iPhone would be. Shut up, inner Apple fangirl.)

I'm forced to admit that the Android does a couple things that even the iPhone can't do, and one of them is that it makes it absurdly easy for you to design your own apps, even if, like me, you know nothing about computer programming.

Okay, "nothing" may be a very slight overstatement, as, back in the dark ages of late 80s/early 90s computing, when I was a nerdy kid with big glasses and a deep love for Apple 2e's, I did spend a year trying very hard to learn how to program in BASIC - but unfortunately I did so using the only resource I had, a book I'd inexplicably received as a gift called "Aleph Basic," that explained things like how you could program your computer to tell you how many days it was until the Sabbath. Using this book, I did manage to write an extremely rousing adventure game about Judah Maccabee, but then the book ended, and with it, my programming career.

What is my point? My point is that supposedly, with this application, even people like me who know nothing about anything can create their very own app. Probably it's not as easy as they make it sound.

Don't care. I'm going to try it anyway. Which is where you come in.

(CONTEST INFORMATION STARTS HERE) Want to win signed paperback copies of SKINNED and CRASHED? All you need to do is come up with an idea for an app. The only requirement is that the app has to have something to with:

-me OR
-any of my books OR
-YA lit in general

I'll pick two winners. One at random, and one just because I think their idea is the coolest.

(Even if it's something I can't actually make. Which I think we can all agree is a distinct possibility.)

Leave your entry in the comments, or email me. Deadline is August 3, the day CRASHED comes out.

Oh, and if anyone wants to build me an app themselves? You automatically get a copy of the entire trilogy, including a hot-off-the-presses copy of WIRED. (Don't worry, I'm not holding my breath on that one...)

options

Tue, 13 Jul 2010 14:31:51 GMT

I know, I know, it's been forever since I've written anything on here, and part of that's because in my head, I've been preparing this long post on David Foster Wallace that just keeps getting longer and longer while I postpone writing it down. (The problem is I'm reading his book* exclusively on the subway, so it's taking forever, and the more I read, the more I have to say.)

But. Here's a taste of what may or may not be to come. At the moment I'm reading "A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again," his essay about the horror of cruising.** It's filled with observations -- not so much about cruising (something I have only embarrassingly fond 12-yr-old memories of) but about life -- that I find ring painfully true.

Here's one, for all you people out there around my age or (I'm guessing) any other:

I am now 33 years old, and it feels like much time has passed and is passing faster and faster every day. Day to day I have to make all sorts of choices about what is good and important and fun, and then I have to live with the forfeiture of all the other options those choices foreclose. And I'm starting to see how as time gains momentum my choices will narrow and their foreclosures multiply exponentially until I arrive at some point on on some branch of all life's sumptuous branching complexity at which I am finally locked in and stuck on one path and time speeds me through stages of stasis and atrophy and decay until I go down for the third time, all struggle for naught, drowned by time.*** It is dreadful. But since it's my own choices that'll lock me in, it seems unavoidable -- if I want to be any kind of grownup, I have to make choices and regret foreclosures and try to live with them.****

I've always been a grass-is-greener kind of girl, and I've been thinking about this kind of thing a lot over the last couple years (well, I've been thinking about this kind of thing since I was 11 or so, but we'll ignore that for the moment), so as you can imagine, reading this was a real stop me in my tracks moment. But it also resonated because recently I've been trying to be less grass is always greener and more live in the now, or whatever the appropriately cheesy yoga cliche would be there. (I don't know this b/c I don't do yoga and don't intend to start, so don't bother suggesting that.)

Example: For whatever reason and through whatever accidental series of events, coincidences, conscious choices, and mistakes, I am a writer. I am neither an astronaut nor a robotics engineer, a supreme court judge, a globe-trotting journalist, a broadway diva, a montana rancher,***** or any of the other things I once imagined I might someday choose to be. (Although I suppose the montana rancher path is still open to me, but...pass.)

And I've been thinking that instead of daydreaming about what life would have been like if I'd chosen to pursue a job at NASA or learned to herd cattle, ie, imagining the choices I once had but don't anymore, I should be daydreaming about how to maximize the choices I did make in the real world. (ie, in this case, put my energy into becoming a better writer.) Or how to take advantage of the choices I've still got left to me in the future. (ie, I guess, choosing to stay in NY for an eternity or move to...well, clearly not Montana. But there's always Paris!)

So that's the current plan. (Embracing and maximizing choice, not moving to Paris.) (Although you never know...)

Anyway, there's my semi-depressing, semi-empowering thought of the day. Enjoy.******

------
*This is part of my still ongoing buy-a-book-a-week resolution. If you're curious about which ones have completely blown me away: Await Your Replay (Chaon), The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao (Diaz), Consider the Lobster (DFW), Super Sad True Love Story (Shteyngart), and both the History of Love and Great House by Nicole Krauss. Books that were intensely disappointing after all hype/build-up/expectations: The Ask (Lipsyte), This Side of Paradise (Fitzgerald), and, sort of, though I'm on the fence, The Unbearable Lightness of Being (Kundera).

**I've been anticipating this one for a long time, since my family took some cruise vacations when I was a kid, but I'll admit that it's a far more depressing read than I expected. This is partly because thus far it's mostly about how being on a cruise makes DFW think about death, and obsess about death, and feel so terrible about himself and the world he wishes he were dead. Which, for obvious reasons, is very, very sad.

***See what I mean about this being almost too painful to read when you know what's going to happen?

****Since my parents read this blog (although possibly not this one, b/c they're literally on a cruise as we speak), I feel I should probably add here that I don't walk around brooding on this all the time. And that I am in fact (for example) in a perfectly sunny mood today. But it's definitely been the subtext of a million late-night "maybe I should have gone to law school," "what if I'd majored in norwegian folklore," "maybe we should move to madagascar" conversations I've had with college friends, especially as we approach various milestones that make us feel, in some official way, old.

*****Perhaps you too once shared this dream, if you read The Trumpet of the Swan.

******Now close your eyes and try to imagine what a "long" DFW post would look like, if this is a "short" one. Maybe now you see why I've been putting it off, and are grateful.

one more thing

Fri, 28 May 2010 13:24:17 GMT

I know, I know, I REALLY have to stop talking about the Deadly Sins movie and, despite my continuing obsession, move on with my life (or at least my blog posts). But I feel it's only fair to tell you -- especially the you that doesn't have cable -- that you can now watch the movie online, whenever you'd like. (Or, if you're me, as many times as you'd like. Daily, perhaps.)

You can watch it here on the Lifetime site all month.

Clearly, I'm biased, but I have to say it was the GREATEST MOVIE OF ALL TIME.

(If you won a prize during last week's Deadly Sins countdown contest and haven't gotten a confirmation email from me yet, please email me your address again. I've heard from six winners -- but one of you is still out there, anonymous in cyberspace.)

So, what's next on the exciting agenda?

Well, unless something unexpected happens very soon (and let's hope not, since "unexpected" in new york terms usually translates into stepping on a dead mouse or something), the Next Big Thing is my 10 year college reunion.

Not coincidentally, this also marks the ten year anniversary of my move to New York. (It would also mean 10 years of living in NY, if I hadn't made that unfortunate 2 year sojourn to LA. But I figure I'm still allowed to have a cake.)

So I'm wondering, any of you who've ever been to a reunion (or seen a reunion in the movies) got some good advice for me? What self-aggrandizing lies should I tell? What outrageous costumes should I wear? What should I bring along to keep myself from a) dying of boredom amidst all the awkward small talk or b) dying of embarrassment when I fail to recognize, well, anyone?

(If your advice is don't, on the spur of the moment, trim your bangs with children's safety scissors, then...um, too late?)

Movie! Tonight! Watch It! Love It! Exciting!

Sun, 23 May 2010 15:43:52 GMT

IT'S HERE.

I've been waiting and wondering and googling and counting the days and it is FINALLY HERE!!!!

Eight hours from now...

All our Lost questions will finally be answered!

Okay, kidding.

Well, not really kidding, because I'm desperate to watch that finale, desolate at the thought that the show is ending, and dying to know exactly what the hell has been going on with the crazy island for all these years. BUT, I'll be watching it later, on Hulu, because obviously TONIGHT, I will be watching

(And I"ll be watching it tomorrow night, too, as should you, b/c trust me, after the part 1 cliffhanger you are definitely going to want to know what happens next.)

To celebrate the movie, I've been giving away free books all week. (Congratulations, stonecoldbooks.blogspot.com, you're the big winner of yesterday's Greed question, so let me know where I should send your prize! And thanks to all who participated all week long, especially -- if you'll forgive my quick digression into senimentality -- those of you who were bold enough to answer these questions from the heart. It sounds like some of you are dealing with some seriously tough life crap at the moment. I hope things improve soon, and I wish you all a life filled with sunshine and roses and unicorns. Though not the killer kind.)

This whole tv movie thing is a big fat dream come true for me, and it couldn't have happened without people reading the books and (hopefully) watching the movie, ie people like you. Which is why I've been tossing all those books to the crowd and why today, I've got something special on offer, as a big thank you.

So here's how you can

WIN A COMPLETE SET OF SEVEN DEADLY SINS!

Watch the movie tonight, then email me with an answer to this simple question: What are the first words Kaia says to Reed?

(Also, if you want, tell me what you think of the movie, b/c I'll be curious to know. But having an opinion is not required for entry.)

(Do NOT email me anything about what happened on Lost, or I will crawl into cyberspace and destroy you.)

You have until sunrise on Monday morning to send me your answer. I'll pick one lucky winner to get all seven books, signed by yours truly.

And now, just to wet your tastebuds for tonight...

Countdown to Sin: T minus 1

Sat, 22 May 2010 13:32:03 GMT

(If you missed it: This is DAY SEVEN in the Seven Deadly Sins tv movie book-a-day giveaway. If you're super-impatient, skip to the bottom to see how you enter.)

I thought this week would NEVER end, but here we are, one day before the BIG PREMIERE. This is very pleasing to me. (Almost as pleasing as the fact that I've got friends visiting from out of town, which is always the perfect excuse to sample every good food this city has to offer - and yesterday's responses have left me with quite the to do list on that front. Hungry.)

Today's winner, nizniz clearly put some serious thought into her last meal:

Assuming I could actually eat every thing... but then again, it IS the last day on earth, I'd damn well better eat everything.

It would start with the seafood course - some sushi, bacon wrapped scallops, crab legs, seafood salad and crab rangoons.

Moving on to the chicken course, we'd have a delectable array of purdue honey wings from Jewel, bourbon chicken, teriyaki chicken wings from the Old Country Buffet, fried chicken from popeyes, my own baked chicken, and roast chicken from meijer. (All very yummy chickens, and listed in order of most favoritest to still effin' awesome)

And then we'd have the main course, which would consist of a great steak, delicious mashed potatoes with sweet corn mixed in, my mother's Lumpia (it's a Filipino dish) and King's Hawaiian Sweet Bread.

And then the dessert course. Rice pudding, Oh's Cereal, (with a bit of milk thrown in - hey, it's the end of the world, no need to worry about lactose intolerance) apple pie a la mode, pumpkin pie with whipped cream, and fortune cookies. Do NOT forget fortune cookies.

There we go. A perfectly balanced four-course meal.

Now that's impressive.

nizniz, email me, to tell me what book I should send you and where I should send it. (And if people who've won on previous days, don't forget to email me with the same info.)

Everyone else, TWO MORE chances to win.

(If you're wondering whether I've suddenly lost the ability to count on my fingers, no. We've got one more one-book-giveaway, today -- and then tomorrow, MOVIE DAY, I've got something special planned. Keep your eyes peeled.)

Also, for your information, Lifetime is giving away a bunch of signed Seven Deadly Sins here (and they've also just posted an interview with the very talented Dreama Walker who, as I've mentioned before, does an amazing on-screen alpha girl imitation).

Once you're done with all that...

Reminder of how this works:
I'll ask a question. You answer it in the comments. I'll choose one comment at random. That commenter will get a free, signed Robin Wasserman book. Whichever one he/she wants. You have until Sunday at sunrise to leave your comment. Check back in the morning to see if you won. And if you didn't, you'll have one more chance tomorrow to win something EXCITING.

I'm tempted to ask the obvious question here, especially since it would give me the opportunity to post a particularly pertinent video of what used to be one of my favorite songs:

But (see what I did there) now that I've posted it, I've got a different question.

Question #7 (in honor of Book #7, Greed): What do you DESPERATELY WANT that money can't buy?

Among other things, I want a TV show written and created by me, preferably one of the same quality level as Veronica Mars. I want a satisfying ending to Lost. And I really, really want (though know I am not going to get, alas, but a girl can dream) all-time favorite Television Without Pity recapper Jacob (or failing that, any other TWoP recapper) to do a TWoP recap of the Deadly Sins movie. Perhaps I'll have to write one myself.

Okay, your turn, ask the universe and perhaps ye shall receive.

Or at least perhaps ye shall receive a free book.

Countdown to Sin: T minus 2

Fri, 21 May 2010 12:51:09 GMT

(If you missed it: This is DAY SIX in the Seven Deadly Sins tv movie book-a-day giveaway. If you're super-impatient, skip to the bottom to see how you enter.)

Okay, I'm running out of the house like, five minutes ago, which means
a) this will be short and sweet, and
b) b/c I'll be out and away from my computer all day (the horror!) it's up to you guys to spread the word about today's giveaway

Though honestly, I'd almost rather just stay here on the couch all day, since you've given me many excellent ideas for how to occupy my time. (Which is useful, since I have literally run out of Degrassi episodes to watch, and I can't quite bring myself to start over again from the beginning. Yet.)

So, quickly:

TODAY'S WINNER IS readthisbook.wordpress.com , who has both luck and excellent taste in TV:

Lazy way to waste the day? I can spend hours in front of the computer browsing blogs and twittering! Or I can go on a Gossip Girl marathon and rewatch the entire season 1 and season 2 and swoon over Chuck and Blair.

You know, it turns out giving away a prize is an excellent way to start the morning. A girl could get used to this. Though I suppose eventually I'd run out of books.

But not for another couple days!

So here's your Friday chance to win:

Reminder of how this works:
Every day I'll ask a question. You answer it in the comments. I'll choose one comment at random. That commenter will get a free, signed Robin Wasserman book. Whichever one he/she wants. You have until the next day's sunrise to leave your comment. (So for question #6, you have until sunrise on Saturday.) Check back in the morning to see if you won. And if you didn't, you'll have more chances - I'm giving away a book every day until Sunday, when the movie airs.

Question #6 (in honor of Book #6, Gluttony): You have one day left before the end of the world/zombie apocalypse -- tell me about your last meal on earth. And make it tasty.

Me: Nachos with extra cheese and guacamole. Then (after some palate cleansing gum), tomato and super-fresh mozzarella. Then pasta with some kind of perfectly spicy red sauce. Bread with whole roasted garlic. For dessert, molten chocolate cake with a scoop of hand-churned cinnamon and hazelnut gelato. And then, if I want more (it is my last meal on earth, after all), a burger fresh off the grill, to be eaten outdoors.

Hungry yet?

Countdown to Sin: T minus 3

Thu, 20 May 2010 12:37:43 GMT

(If you missed it: This is DAY FIVE in the Seven Deadly Sins tv movie book-a-day giveaway. If you're super-impatient, skip to the bottom to see how you enter.)

Good morning, all you shiny, happy people.

Well, okay, as I discovered yesterday, many of you are shiny angry people, but I blame myself for that, as I got you all riled up. (And then you, in turn, got me all riled up, because I find myself empathizing with almost all the things that have you totally pissed off -- especially those of you who a) hate microsoft word, b) find yourself caring more than everyone around you and thus wanting to put a fist through a wall when you lose or they suck, or c) wish you could live inside the West Wing. So as they say: been there, done that. Feel your pain. And it totally SUCKS.)

But today, the sun is shining (at least in new york), the birds are singing (at least I assume they are -- I'm still in bed), the air is balmy (so they say in the weather report, cf the bed thing), and I think we could all use a relaxing breather.

But first, a winner!

Congratulations to Anjulie P, who has mustered up a storm of righteous rage that has me riled up all over again, just thinking about it:

RAWRRRRRRRRRRRR

This week? Hrmmm... well, generally I'm pissed off by this guy at my work who always tries pushing his religion bull s**t on me. I mean, just because he's christian it doesn't mean he can hand out his "all knowing" advice to me. I really don't like going to work happy and having my opionions trodden on by a sexist, racist, religios (in a bad way), idiot. The kind of person who says "you should accpet god into your heart or you're going to hell" and "all gay people are sinners and will burn in hell" that just annoys me because I believe in God and He's done so much for my family I just don't like religion as I whole so I go my own way. I don't believe that being gay is wrong, I hate it when people s**t all over people just because they're gay. I won't bother you on his opinion of woman and other religions because this post could go on forever. Let's just say that apparently christianity is the ONLY way to go... which I think is just plain stupid.

Email me about where I should send your prize!

The rest of you: Today is the day we take a deep breath and relax. (Sorry, am I starting to sound like a yoga instructor?)

Reminder of how this works:
Every day I'll ask a question. You answer it in the comments. I'll choose one comment at random. That commenter will get a free, signed Robin Wasserman book. Whichever one he/she wants. You have until the next day's sunrise to leave your comment. (So for question #5, you have until sunrise on Friday.) Check back in the morning to see if you won. And if you didn't, you'll have more chances - I'm giving away a book every day until Sunday, when the movie airs.

And I promise, this is an easy one.

Question #5 (in honor of Book #5, Sloth, which fyi, happens to be my favorite):

What's your favorite lazy way to waste a day? (Shameful guilty pleasures both allowed and encouraged.)

I have no shame about mine (although clearly, I should): Give me a free sunday with nothing to do and nowhere to go, and I can lie on the couch for HOURS -- like, you don't even want to know how many hours -- watching Degrassi: The Next Generation.

Don't judge.

Your turn -- I won't judge you, either...

Countdown to Sin: T minus 4

Wed, 19 May 2010 12:50:18 GMT

(If you missed it: This is DAY FOUR in the Seven Deadly Sins tv movie book-a-day giveaway. If you're super-impatient, skip to the bottom to see how you enter.)

Halfway there! Are you getting excited? I'm getting EXCITED. (Possibly because Lifetime has posted some deleted scenes from Sunday's movie, which, it seems, I am physically incapable of not watching over and over and over again. Doesn't Dreama Walker -- most recently of Gossip Girl, where clearly she got plenty of practice at the mean girl game -- make an awesome Harper?)

So I hope you aren't getting tired of free books, because I'm going full steam ahead.

Especially now that, after yesterday, I know how deeply awesome you all are. You're teachers, you're artists, you're librarians, you're writers, you're fashion designers, you speak three languages and dead languages, you bake cookies and pecan pie, you love science, you love to read, you never give up, and one of you, very wisely, hates bananas.

Consider me dazzled by your general awesomeness.

Now, I picked today's winner at random, but you'll have to admit, this is, indeed, awesome:
valliegirl153 wrote:

I'm awesome because I'm actually passing algebra! Somehow, in 6th grade, I managed to get into the advanced math class, so I'm currently taking algebra one year before everyone else. In 6th grade, math was easy. But now, there's letters in your equations! I haven't actually been doing very well, but going to the teacher and admitting that I needed help has truly improved my grade, and I believe that makes me awesome.

Congratulations on passing algebra (and being smart enough to ask for help) and congratulations on winning! You know the drill: Email me and tell me what you want and where I should send it.

Now, since yesterday was all positive affirmation and sunshine and roses, I think it's only fair that today we shift gears for a little...well, I won't say doom and gloom, because that sounds depressing. Let's say, therapeutic and righteously cleansing rage, shall we?

(To get yourself in the mood, you might want to watch this rather amazing video of a recent hailstorm - hailstones the size of SOFTBALLS.)

I've made the command decision that this year, I'm going to be a more cheerful person -- but those who know and love me (or at least put up with me) will tell you that cranky is my natural mode. So today's question was pretty easy for me:

Question #4 (in honor of Book #4, Wrath): What's pissing you off this week?

(If you're such a sunny person that you haven't gotten pissed off at anything this week...well, wow. You can reach back in your memory to the last thing that made you mad, no matter how long ago it was.)

Me: I'm pissed off that it's suddenly 50 degrees and monsooning when it's supposed to be spring, and that my fancy boots have a big hole in them that I always forget about until I'm halfway down the block with a soaking wet foot. I'm pissed off all over again about last year's Battlestar Galactica series finale, b/c I'm worried that this week's Lost finale is going to break my heart in a similar way. And most of all, I'm pissed off about THIS - an interview in which Bret Easton Ellis claims that women can't direct movies because they lack the necessary qualifications. Specifically, because they're not MEN.

Um, other than that, I'm having a lovely, cheerful week.

How about you?

Countdown to Sin: T minus 5

Tue, 18 May 2010 13:41:00 GMT

(If you missed it: This is DAY THREE in the Seven Deadly Sins tv movie book-a-day giveaway. If you're super-impatient, skip to the bottom to see how you enter.)

You guys have extremely good taste, if you ask me, because reading through yesterday's entries has reminded me of about a million things that I also want -- the Beauty and the Beast library (slightlynorsk ), Buffy's ass-kicking skills (Danielle) , and more Caprica episodes (Terri) for starters. And being the X-Files' Dana Scully (as suggested by kathleenliz ) wouldn't be so bad either, especially if I could a) get my hands on Mulder and b) skip that whole alien baby thing.

Honestly, the only thing on your whole long list of envious desires that I wouldn't take in a heartbeat are bananas. Unlike redrainboot , when I see someone eating a banana, I run away.

Sometimes (like if they're throwing pieces of banana at me, which by the way has happened, because my friends are insane) I run away screaming.

Okay, enough fruit horror stories. (Though, mental note, maybe one day this week I'll ask you for your fruit horror stories. I can't be the only one...um, can I?) Time for the drumroll, and the winner. So.

DRUMROLL!!!!!!

THE RANDOMLY SELECTED WINNER IS....

alannah7 :

Inspired by Cari... I'd have to say I NEED those Beautiful Darkness ARC's that are running out there in the wild... and while we're at it, why not throw in Linger and Clockwork Angel, just for kicks =P! But what I really want right now, is that blue Suzuki Swift that keeps passing by my house. . .

Congratulations! Email me to let me know what book you want and where to send it!

As for the rest of you, for five of you, this is still your lucky week. Because the countdown keeps chugging away. (Can countdowns chug? Maybe I should start calling it the countdown engine? Now I'm picturing the Little Engine That Could, chugging down a hill, straight into a tv screen. Maybe my friends aren't the ones who are insane.)

Ahem. Ready for today's chance to win?

Reminder of how this works:

Every day I'll ask a question. You answer it in the comments. I'll choose one comment at random. That commenter will get a free, signed Robin Wasserman book. Whichever one he/she wants. You have until the next day's sunrise to leave your comment. (So for question #3, you have until sunrise on Wednesday.) Check back in the morning to see if you won. And if you didn't, you'll have more chances - I'm giving away a book every day until Sunday, when the movie airs.

Today's question is inspired by Karen Healey's post about claiming your awesome. (When you're done here, you should definitely read it, along with her excellent follow-up, "The Awesome Movement and the Dreaded Even Thoughs.") Her point is that we spend way too much time being self-deprecating and not enough time claiming our awesome. (By "we" she means the ladies, but today, I mean all of us, b/c I bet all of you reading this post today spend way too much time worrying about how you might not be awesome.) Thus, TM Karen Healey, I present to you...

Question #3 (in honor of Book #3, Pride): I am awesome because !

(For example. I am awesome because I wrote a book, and someone actually published it, and then I did it again! Also because I give excellent advice and because I always try very hard to pick out perfect presents for people, and occasionally I succeed. Oh, and I'm really awesome at air hockey.)

Now you: Go!

Countdown to Sin: T minus 6

Mon, 17 May 2010 13:01:01 GMT

(If you missed yesterday: This is DAY TWO in the Seven Deadly Sins tv movie book-a-day giveaway. If you're super-impatient, skip to the bottom to see how you enter.)

Wow. Okay, yesterday was the most fun I've had on this blog in...well, ever. If you missed everyone's first crush stories, you should go back and read them. (I was especially impressed by aradeliacin, who after seeing her kindergarten crush stick his finger into a moving fan, decided he was too dumb to be worth her time and moved on. Always good to have standards.)

Seriously, if I had enough books, I'd gives you all a prize. But since I don't, I've chosen from the responses at random, and today's winner is....

SAMI
"First Crush

My first crush was in first grade to a boy named Parker. His older brother and my older brother were best friends and our parents knew each other. I thought it was perfect at the times because he was totally forbidden. He was in like with my then frenemie (granted this was before the term was penned but still...) Taylor K. They were best friends and as much more as kids could be back then. I stayed crushing on him for the next two years until I moved to a new school and didn't talk to him until high school. By that time he was snobbish, egotistical, and stuck up. I question myself as to how I ever liked him. He had plenty of girls chasing after him by then and I was only happy to let them have him. But that two years in elementary school that I crushed hard was perfect."

As unrequited loves go, forbidden is truly the best kind, and I speak from experience. Sami, email me to let me know what book you want and where I should send it.

Everyone else...

Reminder of how this works:

Every day I'll ask a question. You answer it in the comments. I'll choose one comment at random. That commenter will get a free, signed Robin Wasserman book. Whichever one he/she wants. You have until the next day's sunrise to leave your comment. (So for question #2, you have until sunrise on Tuesday.) Check back in the morning to see if you won. And if you didn't, you'll have more chances - I'm giving away a book every day until Sunday, when the movie airs.

Question #2 (in honor of Book #2, Envy): You want it. Someone else has it. What is it?

I'll go first, though when it comes to envy, it's too tough for me to pick just one. My list is encyclopedia-length. (Don't judge.) But for starters, I want: Idina Menzel's voice. Joss Whedon's talent. Robert Downey Jr's wife's husband. And my friend N's ridiculously well-balanced outlook on life.

Your turn!

sin to win!

Sun, 16 May 2010 14:44:30 GMT

(Your options - read the whole post, or skip to the bottom to find out how you can win a free book.)

As I may have mentioned (and mentioned, and mentioned), the Seven Deadly Sins series is going to be a tv movie.

Like, SOON.

In SEVEN DAYS, my beloved book characters will have their world premiere on Lifetime Movie Network - they'll be walking and talking (even occasionally lines I wrote for them) and screwing up and hooking up, just like real live tv characters. (You can watch the trailer here, where you'll also find some behind the scenes photos and an interview with yours truly.)

Can we say dream come true?

Many people have been asking me what I'm going to do to celebrate. Suffice it to say there will be lots of food and drink, and possibly an oscar worthy gown. (Even though most of the people I'll be watching it with will likely be in their pajamas. I have no shame.)

But that's not enough celebration for me. So...

I've decided to give away some books.

Specifically, a book a day, for the next seven days. And then something even better on the day the movie actually premieres.

How it works:

Every day I'll ask a question. You answer it in the comments. I'll choose one comment at random. That commenter will get a free, signed Robin Wasserman book. Whichever one he/she wants. You have until the next day's sunrise to leave your comment. (So for question #1, you have until sunrise on Monday.) Make sense? Good, because the Seven Days of Sin start....

NOW!

Question #1 (in honor of Book #1, Lust): Tell me something about your first crush.

(I'll go first: My first crush had the same initials as I did. Which, in all my fourth grade wisdom, I thought was destiny informing me that our souls were bound to end up together. It also made it easy for me to doodle my love all over my notebooks without anyone catching on.)

this post is about sex (...sort of)

Fri, 14 May 2010 13:28:37 GMT

Perhaps you have seen the latest Caitlin Flanagan article (yes, the same Caitlin Flanagan who thought "I hate Y.A. novels; they bore me" was a good start to an article offering her thoughts on....YA novels). This one's also about teenagers and the books they read -- and, like the last time around, the author doesn't condescend to actually learn anything about teenagers or the books they read.

The thesis is a bit muddled, but I believe she's saying that the dangerous, sex-crazed culture we've allowed to arise amongst poor, helpless adolescents -- thanks to our obliviousness and neglect -- has left them so desperate and terrified of their wantonly sexual world that they're forced to retreat to things like Twilight and High School Musical, safe, asexual spaces that constitute a cry for help.

(An example of how doing a little research might have helped her out a little here: as I understand it, at least, the age level of obsessive Twilight fans and the age level of participants in private school "sex parties," a phenomenon about which she seems particularly concerned, do not exactly overlap.)

(An example of Caitlin Flanagan's disbelief that teenagers might have minds of their own and be capable of making their own decisions rather than just being steered by the mighty will of their tainted culture: She disdains one novel about the teen sex party that so fascinates her, written by two writers in their 20s, because, "Still young themselves, they centered their attention almost entirely on the perspectives of the students, as though by plumbing the narcissistic reaches of the pubescent mind, one might discover anything beyond the faintest echo of the larger forces that shape adolescent behavior."

Right, asking teenagers why they do what they do, rather than just deciding it for them? That would be CRAZY.)

As per usual, the responses to this article were more interesting than the article itself. I particularly enjoyed the one on Jezebel, which used Flanagan as a jumping off point for the argument that teens could use a new and different kind of sex-ed, one that talks more frankly and less clinically (or less abstinence-ly, depending on where you live) about what they'll sooner or later be facing.

This spawned a discussion in the comments about all the various horrible sex-ed experiences people have had over the years - which has inspired me to share mine.

No, don't worry, my story is not about the STD slideshow. *shudder*

Like many sex-ed classes, mine was taught by the gym teacher. In this case, a young softball coach in her late 20s, who was generally preferable to the other two female gym teachers, in that she spent less time ridiculing the students who couldn't hit a ball if their lives depended on it.

(Er, so I heard.)

Anyway, at some point during our sex-ed unit, she stood up in front of the classroom, holding one apple in each hand. Up until this point, we'd talked solely about the mechanics of pregnancy and the statistics of disease prevention. As far as I remember, this would be the one and only time we actually discussed sex.

She held up both apples. The she dropped one of them on the ground. She picked it up, dropped it again. She dropped it again and again and again. And then she held them both up for us to see.

"I've got two apples here," she said. "One of them's nice, shiny, clean, and untouched. The other's dented and dirty, carrying who knows what germs. You have no idea where it's been."

"Now," she said, "which one would you rather have? The one that's clean, or the one that's tainted?"

And that, in a nutshell, was our sex-ed.

The lesson learned: Sex is dirty. Have it, and you'll be dirty, too.

(Next time, in Robin's Public School Follies, the time my math teacher gave us a 40 minute lecture on why abortion was evil and god would turn our lives into a living hell if we tested him on that.)

I could tell you what I think about that, but honestly, Maureen Johnson, in my all-time favorite of all her blog posts, has already said it for me:

I don’t think there’s any way of determining when EXACTLY is the right time for someone to have sex. I think this happens at different times for different people. I think you have to have a powerful voice coming from INSIDE telling you that you are ready to have sex. And I think one of the signs that you are ready is that you are thinking about the consequences beforehand—physical, social, mental, the works. You have to have the confidence not to give in and have sex just because someone is pressuring you to. (Because it’s perfectly normal and acceptable NOT to want to.) And you have to be armed with sufficient knowledge about how to deal with sex.

You should REALLY read the whole post. (You have to scroll down to the 2nd entry, September 12.)

I'm a cranky lady. I dislike a lot of things.

A LOT of things.

But you know what I really dislike? When people try to deprive teenagers of their agency, by assuming that they have no will, no sense, and no power to make good decisions for themselves. Yes, teens make stupid decisions sometimes. (As, for the record, do I. Often.) The corrective to that is not informing them that they're stupid and will continue to be until they turn 21, so they might as well just sit down, shut up, and trust the grown-ups to figure things out.

It's also not pretending that their decisions weren't their own, but were instead imposed upon them through the magical, invisible forces of their "culture." (I think I've already made it clear how I feel about those magical invisible forces.)

The way to stop bad decisions? Give people the tools to make better ones. Respect them enough to teach, rather than lecture. Respect them enough to ask questions, rather than deeming them pubescent narcissists who couldn't possibly have answers.

Respect them enough to not make crass, offensive analogies with dented fruit.

Geek Chic

Mon, 10 May 2010 13:54:20 GMT

The new Geek's Guide to the Galaxy podcast (a breathtakingly cool --and I"m not just saying that because I'm now a part of it -- interview series on Tor.com) is called "Immortality! Automata! Consciousness Transference!" So perhaps you can imagine how delighted I was when they invited me to join their discussion.

(Even though, like most of the world, I CANNOT STAND the sound of my own voice, and thus listening to the podcast has proven a rather trying experience.)

So if you want to hear me talk about Skinned, brain slicing, high school, Pokemon, and the CRAZY that lives inside most writers' heads, you can do so here:

Geek's Guide to the Galaxy

In other robot future news, yesterday on the subway I sat next to a guy who was pouring over the sheet music for this:

I kept waiting for him to jump up and start singing, but alas. Maybe next time.

(With thanks to Scott Westerfeld for introducing me to this greatest of all robot songs.)

Appreciation

Tue, 04 May 2010 17:02:56 GMT

Apparently today is Teacher Appreciation Day. I'm a little ashamed to admit that, until I saw Jo Knowles' post, I didn't know there was such a thing as Teacher Appreciation Day. Ashamed not just because I've long been the type to harbor obsessive teacher's pet levels of appreciation for my best teachers (don't judge) but because my father is a teacher. Which I guess means I owe him a 31-year backlog of appreciation.

(The apple's in the mail, dad.)

When it comes to teachers, I've been lucky, because I'm pretty sure I've had more than my share of amazing, inspiring, life-changing encounters. I hated most of junior high and high school--some years about as much as your typical angsty teenager, some years with the miserable, fiery heat of a thousand suns, and trust me when I say being consumed by a supernova would have been preferable to, say, tenth grade)--which means there were plenty of days when a class with a great teacher was the only thing that got me through.

And so, with apologies for the belatedness of this appreciation, a hearty thank you to:

*All my English teachers, but especially: Mr. Binckley, the first teacher I'd ever had who didn't think much of my writing--and who, thanks to his no-nonsense, hard-core, occasionally terrifying criticism, made me a much better one. On the other end of the spectrum, Mr. Baker, who may be the most encouraging guy I've ever crossed paths with, and who basically sent me off to college convinced I was destined for literary greatness. (A conviction that was demolished about three weeks into freshman year, but might have lasted longer if Mr. Baker had still been around.) And last and most, Mr. Weiner, who gave us the Great Gatsby, "The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock," Pearl Jam poetry, an extremely memorable rendition of A Streetcar Named Desire, and introduced the phrase "storching the mantle" into my vocabulary, though steadfastly refusing to ever reveal what it was supposed to mean. (And Mr. Weiner, if by any chance you're reading this, I WOULD STILL LIKE TO KNOW, PLEASE.)

*Mr. Stewart, Mr. Gavaghan, and Ms. Gallagher, history teachers who turned history, my absolute, all-time, least favorite subject into something riveting, and who must have had an effect I didn't realize at the time, since I ended up falling in love with the field. (A special thank you to Mr. Stewart, who assigned my first ever term-paper and forced me to learn the index card note-taking method that -- in defiance of all reason, logic, and computing technology -- I use to this very day. Like, literally, today.)

*Mr. Rines, a fourth grade teacher who worked me harder than anyone would until junior high, if not college, and who may be the only person in the world with the ability to get me to voluntarily participate in an athletic event. (Seriously, I actually joined a basketball team. On purpose. And tried out for a track meet. Though it should be said that I was one of only three people in the whole class who didn't run fast enough to make it in. But we don't talk about that.) It turns out he's now some kind of superstar basketball coach, but that's not how he managed to get me out on the court.

I've always been the kind of person who shies away from things I know I'm not very good at. (This is an excellent way to keep from failing and to yourself from getting into situations where, say, your entire gym class softball team hates you for striking out in the 9th inning and losing the entire game. Hypothetically.) Mr. Rines didn't go for that crap. His philosophy: You try it. If you screw up, you try again. If you suck, you suck. At least you tried. And next time, when you try again, you'll do a better job.

Whenever we took a test, Mr. Rines would pull out this dusty old record player (yes, I'm old, shut up) and put on a Bob Marley song, "I made a mistake, yes I did, yes I did," and then he would laugh, because he knew, and we knew, that making some kind of mistake was inevitable.

And that it was okay.

He gave every kid in our class a nickname, which was one of about a million ways he managed to make every single one of us feel special, and like we had the capacity to do something extraordinary. Like I said, I've had a lot of truly great teachers in my life, but Mr. Rines was the very first--and maybe the first person ever (at least the first not related to me) who was convinced I could do anything. And that someday, I would do something.

He was convinced enough, and convincing enough, that I actually believed him.

Also, he taught me long division. Which believe it or not, occasionally comes in handy.

So...2, 4, 6, 8, who do you appreciate?

making sin irresistible

Mon, 03 May 2010 13:04:27 GMT

How did you spend your weekend? I spent mine watching Lifetime, as I keep hearing from people that the Seven Deadly Sins commercial has started airing.

(A small admission: I'm almost more excited to see the commercial than I am the movie, because there's something about a commercial that seems so real and part of the world. A movie is something you can film in your basement, using turtles and hamsters as your actors, but only a real live tv network can air a commercial, and everyone watching Grey's Anatomy reruns or Golden Girls or whatever -- at least those of you without TiVo - will be forced to see it. Don't feel bad if you can't follow my logic. It doesn't actually make any sense. I know that. I'm odd.)

Didn't see it.

Did see chunks of a fabulous movie starring Jessie from Saved by the Bell, and the beginning of one that looked very promising about an unstable newlywed and her EVIL husband. But no commercial.

Lucky for me, the internet makes every commercial On Demand.

And thus, for your viewing pleasure, I present...***

I wish I could tell you that I'll stop obsessing about this soon, but it's rather unlikely I'll stop anytime before May 23 and May 24 (premiere nights!) and, I suspect, not for a long while after that. But for your sake, I'll try to obsess in new and interesting ways!

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***If you're reading this blog on my website, then I suspect you're not seeing any kind of video at all, but you CAN watch it here.